I am now here to tell you that all those annoying commentators were correct. It flies by at lightning speed.
May has been a month full of milestones in our house for my "book end" kids, Sammy and Caleb, a month that makes me want to freeze time somehow. I just want to hold my three babies close and keep them from getting any bigger. Scenes of life 10 years, 20 years, 30 years from now keep flashing before my eyes. My babies will be all grown up, turned from boys into men, and they're not going to need me anymore! If you've ever read the children's book Love You Forever (and I recommend that you do if you are a mom to boys), I envision myself as the mom driving across town in the middle of the night to climb into her grown son's room and rock him while he's asleep. Go ahead, call me crazy, but someday, you might just know the feeling.
For starters, my oldest son Sammy turned five this month. Five?! Seriously, how did that happen?! In the same week as his birthday, he also graduated from preschool. How is it possible that I'm going to be the mother of an elementary schooler? It seems like yesterday that he was a tiny baby, yet somehow he's already heading off to kindergarden! Needless to say, I was a wreck last week. I cry every year on all of my children's birthdays. I do it to myself by playing this cheesy birthday song (see it here if you want to cry on your kids birthdays, too), and I cry buckets. This year was different. My son is entering a different chapter in life, and I'm not so sure I'm ready. The tears weren't all sad, there was also joy and pride mixed in there. Sammy is definitely not a little kid anymore, at least he'll tell you that. As his mom, I relish in his accomplishments and take pride that I've helped him get where he is today. And let's face it, I'm proud that I've actually kept him alive this long.
He's got his own friends that I didn't choose, and I'm already not allowed to sing or dance when they're around because I embarrass him. He's starting to think girls are gross, and he takes his karate classes very seriously. He's brilliant, too, much smarter than I've ever been. He uses words like "demonstrate" and "terrified" in the correct context and can read site words and do addition problems. But I think the biggest symbol of him shedding the preschool years and growing up into a big kid is that he's started wearing a watch. Gone are the carefree days of preschool. This kid suddenly has places to be!
Luckily, Sammy still wants me to kiss him and hug him
At the other end of the child line-up, my youngest son Caleb (also known around here as Sir Chunx A Lot) has suddenly shed any remaining semblance of newborn-ness and turned into a little person. In the span of two weeks, just shy of his six-month old birthday, he got two teeth and began sitting independently, scooting around the floor, eating solids, and waking up just once a night. He's like a different baby than he was just a month ago, and I am so conflicted with each milestone that he reaches. I know I can't hold him back, but sometimes I wish I could. While I still want to snuggle him, he wants to be on the floor and on the move, scooting after every choking hazard that catches his eye (and there are a lot of them in our house, thanks to his brothers!). When I try to nurse him, he's too busy watching his big brothers to latch on for any good length of time. I just wish he would slow down a little because this is IT. No more babies in our house. I'm reminded every day of that fact as he grows, and it's killing me! I've mentioned this in a previous blog, and I want to reiterate that I don't want any more babies, but why can't the one I have just stop growing???
Don't get me wrong. At the same time, it's kind of nice. Remember the four-month slump I wrote about a few months back? Well, it seems like the fog is lifting around here. I'm not completely, utterly exhausted anymore. I can set the baby down, and he entertains himself (or his brothers keep him busy) for a few minutes. I can now throw all the kids in the tub together, and then he actually goes to bed when they do and sleeps most of the night. I'm even getting rid of a lot of the gear and baby clothing that has taken up so much room in our house for the last five years.
But at the end of the day, I'm still sad to see my baby days coming to a close. Take it from me, moms-to-be out there. It goes by SO fast.
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