What's in a Name?

I really wish babies came with a name.  It's such hard work to find the perfect name for your perfect baby that you're growing, and it's really a big responsibility.  After all, a name has the potential to really shape a kid's life.  I want something that's going to sound appropriate for a child and an adult, something that's not going to get him beat up in school, but at the same time, I don't want him to have to deal with having a bunch of other kids with the same name in his class growing up.  You only get one shot at naming your child, so it's definitely something to get right.  Such pressure!  If somehow they could just emerge from the womb with a little name tag that said, "Hello, my name is..." I'd be completely okay with it.

I was never one of those girls that had names for all of my someday-children growing up.  I just had one name that I wanted to give the daughter I would surely have someday - Stella.  Every time I've been pregnant, that has been the only girl name option for me.  I never really even cared if we were having a boy or a girl, I just wanted a girl someday so I could use the name Stella.  Now that I'm pregnant for the final time with our third boy, I've accepted the fact that I'll never have a Stella.  I'm completely okay with not having a daughter (I taught middle school.  I know how girls act during the teenage years), but not getting to use my name took awhile to get used to. 

He kind of looks like a Juicy Ghost!

That being said, we still had to come up with a name for our third son.  We're the kind of people that plan ahead.  Neither one of us would be okay with waiting until after our baby was born to give him a name - that would make me WAY too nervous.  Sammy, our oldest, had kindly decided on a name for us - Juicy Ghost.  While it has a nice ring to it, and it rolls off the tongue quite easily, we set out looking for something that would seem a little more legitimate on the birth certificate.  What a process!

Naming our first two sons was easy.  Sammy, son #1, was named after his grandfathers.  

Sammy and Poppy

Sammy and Grampy

Gabriel, son #2, was a name that we came to an agreement on after a few weeks of narrowing down lists, vetoes, and discussions, but it's a name that I've always loved.  How can you go wrong with naming your kid after an angel?  His middle name is also my husband's middle name.  

Gabriel

They both have names that hang out somewhere in the middle of the top 50 most popular boy names.  They're traditional, but at the same time, not every kid in the preschool class shares their names.  They were perfect for us.

This time around was a different story.  I didn't give any thought to baby names early on because I was sure that this time I was going to get my Stella.  However, at the big ultrasound, I didn't even have to wait for the technician to ask if I wanted to know the sex.  I had already seen "the jewels" while watching her do the official part of the scan.  My first thought was not heartbreak over the daughter I would never have, it was heartbreak over the name I would never get to use.  I was completely at a loss for a name for this kid.  To make matters worse, my husband was deployed.  There was no easy way to have the back and forth discussion of baby-namings past.  Instead, it was a few emails a week.  We decided to work on our separate lists and settle the matter when he got home.  

When I set out to make my list, I had a really hard time coming up with options.  I had already used my favorite boy names, and nothing popped out at me screaming, "Pick me! Pick me!"  My husband came home, and we talked about names here or there.  He had a favorite name that he really loved, and I just couldn't commit to it.  I just referred to the baby as Juicy Ghost.  Truthfully, I just couldn't get into the process this time around.  I looked at a few websites that are pretty cool like Nymbler and The Baby Name Wizard.  They have features that analyze names, they give sibling name suggestions, and they even have feedback from real people about how they like their own name.  One name that kept showing up was my husband's #1 choice, but I was still hesitant to agree to it.

I started to think about the subject a lot, and I came to the conclusion that my ambivalence about committing to a name might have some merit.  I'm not sure that a name really has the potential to affect a person's life as I originally thought.  Our baby is already a little person with his own personality, and he's oblivious to what his name will be.  I think that a baby comes to own his name much more than the name has the ability to influence the baby.  No matter what his name ended up being, a few years from now, we won't be contemplating the subject anymore.  He'll just be who he is.  After all, I can't imagine Sammy and Gabriel being named anything else.

How could I deny this guy?

I also thought about my husband, who had never really liked the name Stella.  He was just willing to use the name because he knew how much I loved it.  If I didn't care all that much, and he had a name that really mattered to him, it was only fair to let him use it.  So after a few more days of contemplation, I let him win.  Juicy Ghost's official name will be Caleb.  Now that he's had the name for a couple of weeks, it's really grown on me (although Sammy still isn't on board!).  It's almost as though he's had the name all along.


Still, if he had just been born with a little name tag, I'd have saved myself a lot of trouble.  Just sayin'...